Tragedy of Existence

I sometimes believe that I don't belong around people, that I don't belong to all leap days that didn't happen. The way the light and darkness mix under my skin has become storm. You don't see the lightning but you hear the echoes. And when the night is up and the lights are off, they're all screaming, screaming to death warped thoughts started to devour happy thoughts of you, as I look back having you in my arms, no I don't want this moment to ever end but when I try to put things back, there was a monster inside me shrouding the happiness and cage them to blurry. For a moment I feel unlucky, It was 14th of Oct. and I know and see, that everything has changed and they say its for good but for me as I remain silent, letting those words to be unspoken. Every question in my life remains unanswered. Each cry ignored. And, with every lonely song played, I become more sadder and frustrated. My feelings become more deeper in despair as days goes by. Sparring of feeling everynight, I wanna fight back and put things back the way they was. But its useless, that no matter how hard I try to fight I always ended up losing, losing you and everything. They're like soldiers waging wars inside me. So I let myself fall into a place far from my reality and let them hurt me. And It's scarry how these thoughts ruin something beautiful in my life. So this maybe the tragedy of my existence.